There was nothing special about that afternoon. It was a typical afternoon in Antigua. The cobblestones were warming up in that hot Guatemalan sun and people were going about their normal routines.
I was working behind the bar. There were only a few customers, so I was drying off glasses to pass the time while I lazily eavesdropped on a conversation nearby. There were two ladies sitting at the bar speaking in English. There was one younger woman, maybe in her 30s and one with a few more decades under her belt, I would guess in her late 60s.
My years perked up when the older one said it and I’ll never forget overhearing that that simple conversation:
“You’ve got to try it out,” she said adamantly. “Who cares if it doesn’t work out? Who cares if you fail? No one really cares that much at the end of the day, we are all too focused on our own shit.”
“Listen,” she said as she softened a bit. “If there is one thing in my life that I’ve learned the hard way, it’s that if there is a big ‘what if’ in your life that keeps coming back, you HAVE to try it. At the very least, you have to take one baby step at a time towards it. You don’t need to uproot your whole life to walk in the direction of your dreams and see what doors open.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?” She asked as she took another sip of her Victoria. “That it doesn’t work out? Then you just go back to your cozy old life. That you’ll make a fool of yourself if you fail? We all make a fool of ourselves sometimes, it is part of being human. Hell, at least you’ll never be able to look back and say you didn’t try it out, you’ll never be able to say you didn’t give it your all.”
“Trust me,” she sighed. “It is far better to fail or temporarily feel embarrassed than to let that, ‘what if I tried’ plague your thoughts for the rest of your life. I promise you, the regret of never at least dipping your toes in will be way worse than failure ever is.”
It’s funny how sometimes the things that have changed my life and my mindset the most have happened in the most mundane moments of my life, like drying glasses behind a bar. These unexpected little moments can change everything. I had probably heard a version of this advice many times before this, but for some reason it really struck me that quiet afternoon.
I don’t remember exactly what ‘what if’ they were referring to, but it could have been anything. She could have wanted to move to a new place, share her feelings with someone, try out a new thing she was curious about, tell her truth, start a business, or share her art or dream with the world.
I think about this conversation and the great ‘what ifs’ of my life often, just as it slipped back into my mind this morning.
Now, whenever I am scared to do that thing that keeps tapping me on my shoulder and whispering in my ear at night, the image of these two women flash across my mind. Whenever an idea keeps coming back around, especially when I notice my fear come up and try to shutdown it down immediately, I think about what she said.
And I take a deep breath and do my best to take one baby step toward that next ‘what if’.
love it 💕